It all began Thursday morning when my coworker, Rachel, turned to my office mate, Mark, and I and exclaimed, “Where’s my office phone?!?” Given the absurdity of that question since it should have presumably been sitting right there in front of her happy ass, the two of us could do nothing but chuckle. This, of course, indicated guilt on both our parts.
Now, I’m a big fan of pranks, but I don’t string anyone along for too long before admitting guilt. (This admission is typically accompanied by an obnoxiously large smirk spreading across my face.) So, after we had each adamantly denied having anything to do with the looted landline, Rachel eventually reported the phone missing to our boss and facilities director.
They too were baffled by the situation, and the next day she arrived to work with a new phone on her desk. None too ironically, hours later one of our coworkers randomly dropped by (as he often does) and proudly confessed to the theft. A pretty solid prank if you ask me.
And where was Rachel’s phone you may be asking? In her file cabinet (see above). Mystery solved. I want to also note that while typically an odd place to find a phone, I’m still somewhat surprised she failed to check her files in the first place. But hey, she got a new and MUCH improved phone out of the ordeal.
The tom foolery would persist, however, as that same morning Mark came across a condom in his desk drawer (see above). Following his vehement denial that it was in any way his own, Mark naturally approached the aforementioned coworker, who claimed he had nothing to do with this stunt. So, after asking around a bit more (but not too vociferously considering there’s no need for nearly 100 folks across the athletic department to know a condom was found in one’s desk), the situation was once again reported to our boss.
At this very moment, the condom culprit remains at large and continues to roam the hallways of University of Richmond Athletics. Until he or she (probably a fratastic coworker… or someone on the religious right) is apprehended, we at Spider PR are on the alert… and holding on to that condom.